Six months after his son Garrison’s untimely passing, Kody Brown is getting candid about their complicated relationship.
Sister Wives fans were shocked to hear that Garrison had taken his own life in March 2024, as Monsters and Critics reported.
Garrison’s death was officially ruled a suicide, and no foul play was suspected.
Ethanol intoxication, better known as alcohol poisoning, was also a factor in the 25-year-old’s death.
Now that half a year has passed since Garrison’s death, Kody is sharing how he’s been coping and what he regrets.
During an interview with PEOPLE, Kody admitted that it still feels like a “shock” that Garrison is gone.
Kody says his relationship with Garrison ‘certainly could have been better’
“It’s strange having your child pass,” Kody shared with PEOPLE.
“The wave of grief is different than any wave of grief I have ever had with a best friend passing, with a relative passing,” he admitted. “It’s different … in the idea that it’s irreconcilable — the future that we missed with him.”
Kody says his relationship with Garrison “certainly could have been better.”
Kody admits he and Garrison could have ‘done so much more’
Garrison was the fourth-born of Kody and his ex-wife, Janelle Brown’s six children, and one of 18 kids Kody shares between Janelle, Christine, and Meri Brown.
Sister Wives viewers watched Kody and Garrison struggle to keep their father-son relationship on good terms in recent seasons.
And as Kody says, in hindsight, he believes he and Garrison could have done something to improve that.
“We could have been talking more. I’d get texts, stuff like that, and we could have, retrospectively, we could have done so much more,” Kody confessed. “And it was almost like — I’m busy with my life, he’s busy with his life, and when we connect, we’ll connect.”
Kody said he took advantage of the “convenience of time,” thinking he had “forever” to catch up with his son.
Now that Kody has lost a son, he admits he’s changed “irrevocably,” and he can never “get back to where” he was.
“I can’t reconcile that he’s not here,” Kody added.
Kody shares his ‘only’ regret
When it comes to feeling remorseful, Kody stated that his “only” regret is not taking “advantage of the time” of the time he had with Garrison, like going out to dinner or sharing a beer and a laugh.
“The only regret is just, gosh, I would just do that more often,” he said. “The only regret is that you didn’t do something. You didn’t take more time.”
Season 19 of Sister Wives premieres on Sunday, September 15, at 10/9c on TLC