At this point on The Bachelorette, most of the guys are theoretically focused on Rachel (and if not her, at least on snowing her long enough to reach the final two and a shot at being the next Bachelor).
But there are always a couple of knuckleheads who have completely lost sight of the main attraction and are solely focused on lasting just a little longer than some other guy they hate.
Really, I think the producers need to cut back on the booze and boredom they inflict on these guys, because when they cast professional wrestlers we have to assume something bad will happen, don’t we?
But before we get to the showdown between Kenny and Lee, let’s review the obvious front runner — Bryan.
At 37, he may be the oldest guy on the show, but he is also the only guy who has said all the right things and never once allowed himself to be pulled into the silliness in the house.
He gets the group date rose, and oddly enough none of the other bachelors seem to realize what a threat he is.
Maybe they think he’s too old to be a threat?
No matter — Rachel is clearly smitten. It really does seem like everyone else can go home, because Bryan has a lock on this.
But wait! How can we walk away from Kenny and Lee? Kenny unwisely needs to have another “discussion” with Lee, and while he speaks to Lee in a voice usually reserved for hostage negotiatiors and lion tamers, what’s the point?
Even using a very non-aggressive tone, Kenny still threatens to poop in Lee’s cowboy boots.
This seems less than wise.
Rachel has a one-on-one with the always-creepy Jack Stone.
It’s hard to define what makes him so creepy, but if we were to see him doing a serial killer perp-walk, it somehow would not be surprising.
Even though he and Rachel have a suggestive afternoon of shucking and shagging (it’s a dance, people!), Rachel doesn’t feel a spark.
Jack doesn’t notice. He feels so comfortable with her! He is sure he’ll love her dad! He wants to lock her in a room and talk!
Yeah, not dispelling the creepy vibe, Jack.
Rachel tells Jack he’s got to go. He seems completely gobsmacked.
With Jack gone, Rachel only has to eliminate two guys at the rose ceremony — Iggy and the Tickle Monster.
Yup, Kenny and Lee are sticking around for no other reason than a producer-requested cage match.
It’s off to Oslo, which is gorgeous, and guess who gets the one-on-one date?
Yeah, Bryan. Dean thinks he could go home. Rachel sent Jack home, so why not?
Poor Dean is kidding himself.
One thing that hasn’t come up (or at least hasn’t made it past the editing table) is the fact that Rachel’s favorites thus far are white guys.
Eric, though, is not shying away from stating the obvious.
He talks to Anthony about how, out of five one-on-one dates, Anthony has been the only black guy to make the cut.
Anthony thinks it has nothing to do with race. He may be right — on Rachel’s part. Whether the show’s producers feel a need to have more screen time devoted to white guys is another issue.
When it’s time for the next group date, it includes everyone but Kenny and Lee.
Two-for-one coming up!
The other guys play handball, and Will stands out. Turns out he has a hidden talent for handball.
Did anyone else think it was weird Dean wore his cup outside of his clothes?
Josiah, though, thinks he has some special connection to Rachel.
Yeah, about that.
After Josiah tells Rachel he wants to grow old with her, she makes a very insightful point.
She tells Josiah he never asks questions about her.
Josiah praises her for noticing this, then proceeds not to ask a question about her.
Rachel is dead-on when she notes Josiah seems somewhat disingenuous when he talks to her.
His clock is ticking.
Will, though, has a nice moment with Rachel. There might be something there!
Even though Rachel drags Peter into the patio hot tub, she gives the rose to Will. Poor Peter.
When it’s time for Rachel’s double date, Kenny promises himself he won’t talk about Lee — then talks about Lee.
Lee, of course, talks about Kenny.
Rachel has to investigate, and that’s how we end up with Kenny nastily cackling as he walks toward Lee.
Tomorrow night, there will be blood. Not kidding — it was in the promo.
The second half of this double-episode of The Bachelorette airs this Tuesday at 8:00 p.m.