Monsters and Critics columnist Liz Long recaps The Bachelorette, Season 17, Episode 9 (Hometowns), with a little help from a glass of chardonnay (or two) …
My goodness, Rose-Lovers! Talk about an absolute beat-down of our emotions two weeks in a row now, huh?
Greg Grippo — our “frontrunner” — seemed to go from hero to zero in the span of 40 minutes on last night’s episode! In case you don’t know, he’s “done,” Katie’s “done,” and I’m just wondering is Katie’s remaining two seriously going to be default Justin and Blake?!?
Pour a stiffie, friends, and let’s recap the meltdown of Greg.
Blake’s hometown
Greg’s meltdown actually began during Blake’s hometown. You see, as Katie and Blake frolicked around the New Mexico resort doing Canadian things (because that’s just how Hometowns roll these days), Greg caught a glimpse of them hand-in-hand. Katie appeared like she was having fun, and only fun can be had with Greg, I guess, because this did not sit well with our sensitive loverboy.
Now I’m not saying the ABC producers planted Katie and Blake as close as possible outside Greg’s hotel room as they could, but… oh that’s exactly what I’m saying those devious producers did.
So Katie met Blake’s family, and the two most notable things about this meeting were Katie’s outfit that looked like it came from her seventh-grade Limited Two stockpile and Blake’s sister.
Ahhhhhh, Blake’s sister. Taylor is her name. And you know something – she’s pretty awesome. She seriously said to Blake: “So this is the one now?” After you “fell in love with Clare” then Tayshia, now it’s Katie, huh bro?
Preach sis! This girl is an obvious member of Bachelor Nation, and part of her sisterly duties were to remind her brother that if the other men are saying the magic I love you words, then him not saying it will be his demise, so he better say those three words, even if they’re not completely true.
Justin’s hometown
It felt funny just writing the words “Justin’s hometowns.” I mean, there’s nothing wrong with Justin (in fact, he’s great!). It’s just that … well – how the hell did he get this far?!
What’s more, he doesn’t have any parents for Hometown show-and-tell and it’s just sad. Though his parents were all “no thanks” to meeting Katie, Justin’s two best friends Herb and Tom were there to save the day, and all of it was swell – just swell, I tell ya.
Great friends, who were an easy audience for Katie, and seriously, both of these hometowns only took 40 minutes – leaving 120 minutes for drama we simply were not ready for.
Greg’s hometown – It rains in Jersey too. In fact, it downpours.
So Greg’s hometown starting off with a bang! Or should I say “rain,” because the handsome little dickens orchestrated fake rain on his “Jersey” date just like Katie had done for him?
“Wow!” I said to myself. Just wow. And as Greg cried over seeing his sisters send him a video message from back home (putting Justin’s family to shame I might add), all of Twitter-nation was on board with the sensitive fellow. We wanted to hold him. We wanted to wipe his tears – possibly even caress his hair. Some even said that when Greg breathes, they feel “gregnant.” (Amazing btw, and I wish I could find that Tweet.)
And everyone was still on board with him as he poured his heart out to Katie, telling her she is the only one who has allowed him to open up, that he has never been this vulnerable … she’s beautiful, and, by golly, he LOVES her!
Aaaaaaaand Katie looks. And she just looks. And when he is all “say something,” she replies, “I like looking at you.” (The cousin to Matt James’s “thank you for sharing that” response.)
He takes her “outside” to talk in the dark, where she all but tells him “look, stick with it and it’s you in the end.” They even apparently made secret plans to live in New York together and Katie said on-camera to Greg’s mom that “Greg WILL be here next week.” So, for Greg, this should have been good, right? I mean, we ARE on The Bachelorette … a show where the lead dates multiple people at once!
Perhaps Greg hasn’t seen the show or perhaps he only watched Clare’s season and thought Katie would pull her own Clare, but it seemed Greg would stop at nothing until Katie ended the show then and there – slyly preventing her from having Fantasy Suite shenanigans with Blake and Justin.
So who is the one exhibiting normal behavior here?: They guy who can’t bear to see his love with other men (Greg) or the guy who is unfazed by any of this and just wants to hit the gym (Blake)?
I don’t know, but what I do know is the moment Greg went to Katie’s room to tell her he’s done because it felt like she was playing a game and not being real with him (“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ROSE, KATIE!”) all of Twitter-nation was abuzz with words like “gaslighting” and “f**k boi.” ARE these really traits of the man who cries with Katie over his dad? My mind has been officially blown.
Justin and Blake are miraculously left as the final two, but it’s all for naught because Greg and Katie are booking their separate plane tickets home. Or, actually … did Greg die? Because I’m not so sure with the way those producers did that end In Memoriam-sytle montage of Greg with Katie.
What on earth will happen next week you guys? I personally don’t do the spoilers, but if you do, click here to see why a post might have given away the end of Katie’s season. Til’ next week Rose-Lovers!! Who is stocking up on the liquor?! We’re gonna need the hard stuff.
The Bachelorette airs on Monday nights at 8/7c on ABC.